1. The art of relationship
Welcome to “The Art of Relationships,” a journey into the rich tapestry of human connections as they are depicted in literature. Today, we delve into the complexities of relationships through the lens of complex sentences.
Mull over
Read the following quotes and answer the questions about them.
“Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
- Question: How does Dostoyevsky’s perspective encourage us to appreciate the positive aspects of our relationships?
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – Leo Tolstoy
- Question: How does Tolstoy’s observation about happy and unhappy families reflect the complexity of human relationships?
“Any idiot can face a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.” – Anton Chekhov
- Question: In what ways does Chekhov’s quote resonate with the challenges and endurance required in relationships?
“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.” – Agatha Christie
- Question: What does this quote reveal about the quirks and vulnerabilities that strengthen human connections?
“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein
- Question: In what ways does this definition of love resonate with your understanding of deep connections?
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'” – C.S. Lewis
- Question: How does this quote capture the essence of discovering a true friend?
Grammar? No problem!
Grammar geek
Complex sentences
A complex sentence is a sentence that contains an independent clause (a complete thought) and one or more dependent clauses (incomplete thoughts). Dependent clauses cannot stand alone as complete sentences and rely on the independent clause for context.
Structure:
- Independent Clause + Dependent Clause
- Dependent Clause + Independent Clause
- Independent Clause + Coordinating Conjunction + Independent Clause
Examples:
- Independent Clause + Dependent Clause:
- Example: “She had several accomplishments under her belt, after completing three challenging projects.”
- Dependent Clause + Independent Clause:
- Example: “Because the library was where he spent countless hours studying, it holds a special place as his stomping ground.”
- Independent Clause + Coordinating Conjunction + Independent Clause:
- Example: “The final scene of the play was so moving and emotionally charged, so it was truly poignant.”
Note:
- Use a comma when the dependent clause comes before the independent clause.
- No comma is needed when the dependent clause follows the independent clause unless it is essential for clarity.
Look at some examples.
1. Rewrite the dialogue from “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee, using a complex sentence.
Original:
- “Atticus, he was real nice.”
- “Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.”
Rewrite:
“Despite Scout’s initial impression, Atticus was real nice when she finally got to know him.” (Possible variant, but not the only one).
2. Rewrite the sentence from “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy, using a complex structure.
Original:
“All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow.”
Rewrite:
“Tolstoy suggests that the variety, charm, and beauty of life are composed of the interplay of light and shadow.”
This understanding of complex sentences is essential for constructing nuanced and well-connected expressions in English.
Excerpt from “To Kill a Mockingbird” :
- “Atticus, he was real nice.”
- “Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.”
Exercise 1: Complex Sentences
- Rewrite the dialogue using a complex sentence.
- Answer: “Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them, he said, emphasizing the importance of looking beyond first impressions.”
Get practice
In the following exercise, join two sentences into one.
Change the excerpts from some famous novels, using complex sentences. Then click on the original and see possible variants. Are yours the same?
Reading broadens minds
Here’s an excerpt from “The Great Gatsby” that focuses on the relationships between Gatsby and the heroine, Daisy, providing insights into his attitude and inner thoughts. Read it carefully and speculate on the questions.
Reading between the lines
He smiled understandingly—much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
- How does Fitzgerald describe Gatsby’s smile, and what does it reveal about his character?
- What does the phrase “eternal reassurance” suggest about Gatsby’s attitude towards Daisy?
- How does this description contribute to the overall theme of Gatsby’s unrequited love and his perception of Daisy?
Find out some common answers to the questions. Could you agree with them?
Let’s analyse another excerpt of great literature, Anna Karenina.
Alexei Vronsky is talking to Anna Karenina. On the left, read his explaining his feelings. On the right, Anna responds to Vronsky. Try to delve into their emotions and then answer the questions.
But I love you,” he said suddenly, “because you’re all I think about. If you were to say to me now, ‘Go away, leave me alone,’ I should go away, but I shouldn’t cease to love you. You can’t understand why I love you, but it’s something stronger than I. You’re right: for you, for others, it’s all passion, nothing but passion; while for me it would be a whole lifetime with you. I can’t comprehend what I’m feeling, but it’s stronger than I.
Leo Tolstoy
Anna listened to his words and sighed. Deep down in her soul, the infatuation he aroused had filled her life with happiness; but for many a day now it had been filling it with horror. What for him was only a temporary, pleasing flirtation, for her was already the whole of life. And the turmoil and darkness that this passionate love aroused in her thoughts and in her life, made her dread, not his loving her, but his giving way to the feeling he had for her.
Speculate over the questions below:
- How does Vronsky express his love for Anna in this passage?
- What does Vronsky mean when he says his love for Anna is “something stronger than I”?
- How does this dialogue contribute to the understanding of the complexities within their relationship?
- How does Anna’s reaction contrast with Vronsky’s declaration of love?
- What does Anna’s sigh and her inner turmoil suggest about her emotional state?
- How does this response contribute to the evolving dynamics of their relationship?
Now see other people’s points of view. What do you think? Do you agree?
What about real life?
- What obstacles do couples or friends face throughout their relationships?
- What helps them to overcome difficulties?
- Does the time spent in a relationship have an impact on how often people fight and what they argue about?
- Why do people who used to love each other break up one day? Does it happen because of some differences in their personalities or are there some other circumstances that may cause them to split up?
Did you know…
… that there’s a date when couples most often break up?
Which one? Choose from the options:
- December 11th
- January 1st
- February 14th
The right answer is December 11th.
Why is it that December 11th sees the most breakups? It has been assumed that since this date falls exactly two weeks before Christmas, it may be when some people realize their partner isn’t someone they want to introduce to their family and so they end things early on in order to avoid any potential awkwardness during the holidays.
- Did the information surprise you? Why?
- What do you think other common dates for breakups are?
- How far into a relationship do couples tend to break up? Are there specific time points? Why?
What about reasons?
Choose the three most common reasons:
- No financial security
- Inability to control emotions
- No common interests
- Partner’s parents and other relatives
- The “age factor”
- Work or its absence
- Cheating
- Bad behaviour
According to Psychology Today, the most common reasons for conflicts in relationships are supposed to be the following:
- Bad behaviour
- Cheating
- Inability to control emotions
People tend to break up because of a lack of mutual support and understanding rather than because of a lack of money or relationships with their in-laws.
- What other reasons for why relationships end can you name?
- What could you never stand in a relationship? Why?
Right words matter
Choose the right words to complete the sentences.
Let’s see them active. Read the posts and give your opinion.
The post and comments
Sam, 25 y.o.
Hi there, I just would like to hear your two cents, so I am going to put it out there. I am in a relationship, but lately, it seems like we are not compatible anymore. There is something off, and I can’t put my finger on it. Is there anyone that has experience with relationship crises?
Comments
Susan, 35 y.o.
Well, there are different reasons why you suddenly can have that feeling. First of all, you must ask yourself if there is a change in circumstances that made this change happen. If you, for instance, decide to move in together and take your friendship to the next level, you may experience some animosity from one of the partners because they are not ready to share that much of their lives yet. Or, if you are already sharing a household, deciding to have children can put a strain on your relationship, for instance. On the other side of the spectrum you might experience the “age factor”; is one of you perhaps entering a new stage in life and doesn’t want to go out as much anymore? I mean, people change, so connections change too. Does that make sense, can you do something with this answer?
Janine, 48 y.o.
This all sounds so familiar; I have lived it. Met the best guy, got married, had children, and after 17 years suddenly the spark was gone. It had to do with age, mostly, I think. We both turned 40 and looking back we hadn’t really realized our dreams. Time had just slipped through our fingers, and we used to be so full of plans and ideas. Now we were stuck with a high mortgage and 2 kids in high school. Slaves to our work and each other. We decided to divorce, and we are much happier now, even though many couples manage to overcome such obstacles together. At least the rows have passed, and we can have a family picnic without constant arguing.
Justin, 56 y.o.
My wife and I were happy together. And no, not only in the first years of our relationship, but also in the 20 years that followed: we had interesting conversations, spent evenings walking together holding hands, and all our friends envied our strong family. We always managed our difficulties and differences and didn’t even notice that seven-year itch our parents warned us about. The birth of our long-awaited daughter 7 years after we moved in together just made our connection grow stronger and cemented our relationship. But, life is unpredictable, and when my wife turned 45, she left me. Maybe things could have been different if we argued and made up like normal couples do, throughout our married life. Maybe then, we would still be together.
What do you think?
- What do you think people should do if the spark in their relationship is gone?
- When was the last time you felt like time had slipped through your fingers?
- What things can put a strain on people’s relationships?
- Finally, as we have remembered some pieces of literature depicting relationships, compare how people used to feel and behave in the past and how they do now.
Be an expert!
Imagine that you are a famous psychologist who is giving a lecture in front of a lot of people of different ages. Try to take into consideration the different generations you are talking to when giving your answers. Try to use as many new words as possible: a row, to put out, a spark, compatible, to cement, to break up, to put in your two cents, to put a strain on a relationship, to put your finger on something, to be off, to split up, to make up.
- Is it important for a couple to go through crises and hardships together to enhance their relationships?
- Is it possible to build a relationship in such a way that conflicts/crises do not arise at all?
- Are conflicts necessary for a relationship to grow?